Movie Review: The Punisher: War Zone + Special Xmas bonus

The Punisher: War Zone is an . . . interesting movie. As much as I don't care for the word "interesting" as a descriptor, I am going to have to go with it, as the movie is both good and bad, in ways that are somewhat difficult to describe. I think the short form would be this -- if you are a fan of the comic, and want to see the comic faithfully transcribed to the screen, you will not be disappointed. If you don't know the comic, particularly the later incarnations - post Garth Ennis, especially -- then you may well find yourself wondering what the hell you are doing in the theater.

Go someplace else for a synopsis -- its the friggin Punisher, there are no surprises here in the plot. Which, actually, is a good thing. Oh, I take it back. If you've ever wondered how Castle manages to fire all those rounds of ammunition without ever once inflicting any collateral damage, this movie goes there. He accidentally shoots an undercover FBI agent. Thus the angst; hence the drama.

The fundamental conceit of the Punisher franchise is really very nicely played out: He does to bad guys what everyone (well, ok, almost everyone) wishes would happen to them -- he kills them, without drama (a drawback for film, but there you are), without angst, without remorse. You're a member of organized crime? You're a mugger? You're a gang-banger? If you meet Frank Castle, you're dead.

There is an old saw that goes "A conservative is a liberal who has just been mugged" (A liberal is a conservative who has just been arrested). Castle embodies, in a really primal way, the rage that people feel at injustice - at bad people doing bad things, profiting from their behavior, all while the institutions that civilization erects to protect the rights and liberties of its citizens find themselves impotent to stop them. Every friend you know who has been raped; every child you know that has been molested; every car window that you've had smashed and your radio/cds/briefcase/groceries stolen; the Punisher avenges those wrongs. Graphically.

The comic, when it is at its best, appeals to this outrage, and (maybe its a very NYC thing) as a consequence, the Punisher, at its best, really speaks to me. Its fantasy, dark, and no apologies. There is a sense of humor, and a sense that the Punisher understands the way the real world works in a way that "superhero" characters like Spidey and Captain America just don't. *There have been some GREAT moments in the Marvel Universe where different writers, with diverse viewpoints on the Punishers (lack of ) moral compass, have written encounters with Castle and those icons. My favorite might be the one where he uses Spidey to beat the crap out of someone. "It was great. We had a team-up." Or, check out "Punisher kills the Marvel Universe," which is just fun.

The movie gets all this, and does it. And yet, it is not a great movie. It isn't really even a good movie. Its not got a great story, the stunts aren't really cool. The characters, yeah -- they hit their marks. Pretty much everything about the movie is COMPETENT, in the way that the Iron Man and Hulk movies - also Marvel imprints - have been competent. If this were the first Punisher movie ever, and it were released, say, 15 years ago, people would be falling all over themselves about it. But, as it is, its just more of the same. I only saw it because it was the only thing showing and I needed to kill two hours. I've felt worse coming out of a movie -- I didn't by any means feel robbed -- but, meh. It may be that this is the best possible Punisher movie they could make, without introducing a real conflict -- some of the Punisher v. Daredevil stuff is really compelling in the comics, and the Captain America stuff is good too -- but that seems unlikely. Its not about charisma, or the characters, I think; its just that the Punisher is a one-note character, and theres only so much you can do with that.

SPECIAL BONUS HOLIDAY REVIEW:

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Wow, this is bad. I had forgotten how BAD it was. Yeah, the elf who wants to be a dentist. Yeah, the island of misfit toys. Yeah, Yukon Cornelius. Holy Christ this half hour show is packed to the gills with bad songs, bad acting, terrible plot, abusive Santa and Elves, an oddly Jewish Mrs. Clause (Eat! EAT!), and clarice? WTF? Does she hear the screaming of the lambs?

And, natch, J ate this up with a spoon and came back for more. Yes, two nights in a row (all hail netflix) he watches this, and now he has it memorized, and can act out the funnier moments. GAH. Save yourself. I have Frosty in the queue, I only hope to god its not so bad as this . . .